“He bought me for the night, but he didn’t want sex. We just talked and he played me the song, “Your Love Never Fails”, by Jesus Culture. Do you know them? ”
But the song sticks in her head. “Your love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me”. She can’t shake the tune and the words, so she looks it up. She downloads the song onto her phone. She sings it while she showers, she hums it on the street corner.
“If it wasn’t for this song, I wouldn’t have accepted Jesus. I know God played it in my heart to make me ready.”
Isn’t that interesting? A night satan meant for evil, God used for good. This man, whoever he was, brought a song to a woman who wasn’t ready to accept her failures and the free gift of salvation. But this song, and message, resonated deep within a broken vessel. God used it to soften her heart, even though she was purposely living antagonistically again Him. He loved her enough to work in her life, to win her over, slowly and gently.
And what about this man? Is he still wondering around, broken and lost? Has he returned to the Father? Is he still on a quest to let women in prostitution know the love of God?
I don’t know, and the woman here at the house doesn’t either. But she credits this man and song to her accepting salvation. And this conversation gets me thinking.
The broken mess of a person I am is used by God; really? That seems so mystifying. I think back on my life, all of the broken places I’ve been and my despicable actions. But, is it possible something I’ve said or done in my darkest hours were used to advance God’s kingdom? Could God really have used me despite how far away I was from the warm embrace of the best relationship I’ve ever known?
And I reflect on who I am now. A far cry from the broken mess of a woman I used to be. But I’m still broken; I still sin; I still fall on my face despite my best efforts, despite being in a love relationship with the God of the universe. Yet, God uses my now.
Why do I find it so incredible for God to use a song to reach a broken woman on a street corner? Is it because somewhere deep within me I still believe I have to earn my place to be worthy of God? That only upon reaching a certain level of perfection God will use me? Once I’ve obtained enough gold stars God will look down, smile and say, “Oh, now she’s ready, phew, I’ve been waiting forever!” Could it be all those verses speaking of God’s grace, mercy, and unconditional love haven’t fully saturated my inner core, trickling into my every thought and action?
And I am humbled once again by how I can walk with Jesus and he can all me friend, yet I can be so wrong. But isn’t that the beauty of it all? Regardless of how “big” my sin is, or how much I still don’t understand, He accepts me and draws me deeper into relationship. God responds to my failures this way because God is love. And love never fails.