Reposting Bethany’s pithy commentary on coffee creamer and porn.

Ever have those realizations when something you thought you knew for sure turns out to be not true and suddenly you think your whole life is a lie?

The other day I was making a cup of coffee and just happened to glance at the ingredients on the creamer I was about to add…there in fine print above the nutritional information read Lactose Free.  Say what?? Sure enough the ingredients clearly stated: Contains No Dairy.  Hello chemical crap storm.  I must be dumb.  I always thought creamer was a dairy product, albeit full of sugar and other junk.  But I didn’t think it was SO much other chemical junk.  I quickly replaced the creamer with milk and honey, which tastes great. But I wish I would’ve realized before I was sipping a warm assortment of chemicals…

Okay so on a much more serious note have you ever thought your secret porn addiction wasn’t harming anyone?  Woah.  Sorry that just kind of slipped out. But I think it’s one of the biggest lies that people live with today. I know, sex addiction isn’t new. I know, there was porn available in magazines and books 40+ years ago. But with the blessing/curse of the internet in the past decade or so, porn has never been more widespread and readily available as it is now. Only 1 out 10 porn users actually pay for their porn. The other 90% get it for free, instantly, on their laptops or smartphones. 80% of boys and 60% of girls are exposed (often unintentionally) to porn before age 18. There are too many other stats to list, relating to the church and porn use, the divorce rate and porn use, etc. Look at them here if you don’t believe the chemical crap storm girl. I’m used to it.

I’ve written blogs about this before, and I likely will again.  Why?  Because this is a big deal.  Do you get sick of seeing articles about trafficking and slavery?  Do you get tired of seeing all the campaigns with lines like “modern-day slavery still exists”, or “there are more slaves today than ever…”?  Guess what?  I do too.  I get really sick of it.  Most of it sounds the same.  Same facts about slavery.  Same call to abolition.  Same guilt trip about how if you just skipped Starbucks and sent the money overseas, a slave could be set free for the price of your caramel macchiato.  Sometimes I want to stop talking about slavery.  I know I shouldn’t say that, considering I’m a HOPE61 missionarybut what I mean is I get tired of all the cliche statements and calls to action that so often leave out the most important aspect of ending slavery: changing the hearts of men.

I’m not talking about the traffickers or pimps.  I’m talking about your everyday, ordinary dad, businessman, pastor, mailman, professor, or duck-hunter.  Those are the men that will make the biggest impact in the fight against slavery, simply by putting the porn away and discipling other young men to do the same.  Don’t hate me for picking on guys…It’s just that they’re 543% more likely to look at porn than women.

Here’s the thing.  Trafficking is not going away anytime soon.  It’s still a pretty big deal.  Which means we still need to talk about it.  Even if it’s tiring.  Even if it’s uncomfortable.  We can’t be stupid here, okay?  As long as the majority of men (and many women) are consistently viewing porn, slavery won’t cease.  Why?  Because the porn industry is directly connected to the sex trafficking industry.  They are inseparable.  This is just logic.  Man’s lust and his supposed entitlement to whatever pleasures he wants is what justifies not only porn but buying prostitutes in South Africa or raping toddlers in Cambodia.  (And just because a porn star is “of age” on the internet does not make it okay.  Since when is there an okay age for exploitation?  And why is there a stigma attached to raping girls in real life but not to visually raping them online?)  It’s uncomfortable for us to think that our media choices could be feeding the slave trade, right?  It just sounds unbelievable.  But until that truth is accepted, we really can’t do much.  We’ll only be throwing around trendy short-term solutions like making T-shirts with break the chain logos, but without a long-term solution which would be an actual whole new mindset about sexuality and culture.

Maybe you can’t move to Cambodia to lead brothel raids.  But you sure as heck can disciple and mentor the young men around you.  You can make them squirm in their seats by bringing up the “P” word and showing them you are man enough to talk about it.

If you have kids under 18, odds are they’ve seen porn already.  This is a topic that parents shouldn’t shy away from talking about.  Sure, it’s awkward.  Sure, it’s messy.  But it’s even more messy and awkward for a teenager to develop an unhealthy view of sex that could lead to a devastating sex addiction as an adult.  Every single person I’ve talked to who has struggled with this kind of addiction says that it just was not talked about.  Let’s start talking.

Thoughts or comments?

About Jennie Joy

I'm a lover and truth-seeker. This blog is a place for me to share my thoughts, struggles, and sincere searchings as I get to know God and welcome the reality of His kingdom in and through me.

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