Four years ago today, I received a the call that Isaiah had graduated to heaven. That precious little boy with an infectious laugh would have been 6 1/2 years old today.
One day, in late 2011, I was remembering Isaiah, and I felt a fresh wave of grief tinged with guilt. I was wondering how I could have loved Isaiah better – wishing I had done more to lavish love on him in his last months with us.
In that moment, I lobbed a sincere prayer at heaven, “Jesus, please, tell Isaiah that he’s loved.”
The immediate, gentle response in my thoughts, “He knows he’s loved. Many on earth still do not know.”
That last phrase hit me hard. Wow.
There I sat, wishing I had loved Isaiah better – the orphaned AIDS baby that other caregivers feared – whose own aunties had stopped giving him his medicine because he wasn’t worth the trouble. If anyone needed to know he was loved, it was Isaiah. I had tried to love him, but I felt like a failure. He was so miserable during his sickness. Had he been able to sense and receive my love?
There, in my grief, the Lord whispered that Isaiah now knew he was loved. Isaiah is held – cocooned in the embrace of Love Himself. Isaiah is growing up in the house that Love built. He knows Love perfectly. He lives in Love’s manifest presence.
Thank You, Jesus.
Instead of grieving for Isaiah, the Lord gently directed me to remember the many yet on earth who have no concept of Love.
Unwanted children. Throwaway teenagers. Overlooked adults. Individuals with special needs. Minority populations facing discrimination. People whose life experiences have taught them rejection and abandonment.
The unlovable. The useless. The cast-aways. The disposable. The awkward, messy, inappropriate ones.
They must know His love.
And, if we don’t love them, then who?
Jesus, as You love me, give me grace to love others.