It’s amazing how life goes.
One breath you are on this side of the veil.
Then the veil is lifted, time suspended, and eternity unfolds before you in a terrifying array of sights and sounds – in intensities you never imagined possible.
Was I living before? Or has life in me only just been birthed?
This week has been challenging. Three individuals I cared about and interceded for have gone into eternity.
Little Samuel, the baby boy that I had the privilege of naming soon after his birth last August, died of an unknown sickness. Losing him was a kick in the gut after having just lost little Isaiah on the first of the month. And then, of course, I’ve had all the “what-ifs” running through my mind… wondering if I had done something differently that maybe Samuel would still be alive. It really hurts.
This morning, I arrived at the hospital just in time to pray over the dead body of a precious Sudanese pastor. Pastor Christopher Banja, a beautifully kind-hearted servant-leader, faithfully ministered to God, his family, the church, and the nation of Sudan all of his adult life. He leaves so many who loved and depended on him, including my dear friend Betty, the widow of Patrick. Pastor Banja was the family member responsible for looking after Betty after her husband died. His death is especially hard since he died of tetanus, which is totally preventable. There are so many people in our community reeling from this loss.
Then, I just heard the news that Senator Ted Kennedy has died. I used to deeply disdain that man, until God one day filled my heart with compassion for him. When I heard of his cancer diagnosis last year, I began praying and trusting God for his healing. I prayed for that man – pleading for the salvation of his soul and the healing of his body. I wrote to him, hoping the Truth of the Gospel might capture his heart in his time of need… and now he’s gone.
I have too many thoughts to try to record them here. This road certainly winds, doesn’t it? One week, I’m watching God save and heal multitudes, and the next, I am in the dirt with tears coursing down my cheeks, holding on to God even though my heart cannot understand.
If anything, the death on every side is pushing me into a deeper passion for souls. May God give us all a fire within that drives us to preach the Truth of God to the perishing all around us. It may seem to be a foolish message to some, but He is the hope for all who believe!