It’s a quiet afternoon here on the base. Our Sudanese staff are resting, the kids are playing quietly, and our foreign staff have gone visiting this afternoon. I’m left here in my house, thinking.
The breeze through the 6 windows in the house is teasing the purple curtain that Amy and I rigged up to give us some privacy in the back of the one room building. The cool air feels nice on my sunburnt and heat scorched skin from our firefight yesterday (I need to blog about that sometime), all this reminding me that we need to cut the grass behind the houses in case another fire should start.
The older girls have gone to visit Patrick this afternoon, our Sudanese director who is in the declining stages of brain cancer. I would have liked to have gone with them, but I had some emails to respond to and I want to attend the missionary fellowship at four o’clock this afternoon. So, I sent my greetings with them.
I think over the past week, amazed at what God has accomplished and thankful for His presence with me even now. But, I am tired, and I wish I could curl up for a long afternoon nap. But, afternoon would probably stretch into evening, and I would miss the missionary fellowship and my chance at an internet connection. I could have taken a nap immediately after church, but then I would have missed out on the fabulous talk I had with the older girls in their house.
I love people. I love being surrounded by people I love. I miss a lot of people. My mind gets in these funks where I remember fondly and long to spend time with people that I’ve known in other places and other times. Sometimes I wonder how these different people would interact and get along if all the people I loved could be gathered into one place. 🙂 It would probably be mass chaos, so it’s good that they are all relegated to their separate corners of the world. But I miss them.
Some days my life feels so rich for having lived and experienced the things I have. Some days I smile when I think of that and thank God for how He has blessed me. Other days, I feel very poor to be so far from so many that I love. No matter where I am, I’m always missing someone. Most of the time I just tough it out and tell myself that I need never miss anyone – that I should be perfectly content to be where I am in the moment. It’s true, to an extent I suppose. I have to live in the moment with the people around me or I’m not really living, I’m just longing and remembering.
But, my computer is getting very hot in my lap now, so I’m going to spread out a grass mat on the floor of my house, lie down, and use the rest of the battery life to watch half an hour of the grand old Charlton Heston film, “The Ten Commandments.”
Then I’ll be off to the missionary fellowship, to spend time in the moment with people who are becoming dear friends – people I will fondly remember and long for at a later date.
Today I’m with them.